Psalm 124 – RE-worded and applied specifically to me

If the LORD had not been on my side – [watching over me from my mother’s womb; all of my life]

Let everything within me say, if the LORD had not been on my side – [giving me grace and mercy to endure my childhood]

When people hurt me – [when so many people hurt me and those I loved]

They would have swallowed me alive – [they would have won through the pain I endured]

The flood would have engulfed me – [my many years of abuse, neglect and abandonment would have led me to drown in sorrow and anger]

The torrent would have swept over me – [I would have never been able to hear GOD]

The raging waters would have swept me away – [the rage and unforgiveness would have kept me from any trust in GOD]

Praise be to the LORD Who has not let me be torn by their teeth – [Thank You LORD for not letting them be the death of me]

I have escaped like a bird out of the fowler’s snare – [I become more and more free from the enemy’s lies and schemes]

My help is in the Name of the LORD, the maker of heaven and earth – [The LORD’s Name comforts me and gives me sweet peace because He knows all of my ways and loves me still]

— May His joy and my joy in Him be my strength —

John 11:4 “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.”

Many years ago, when I was a newborn Christian, God spoke to me through this verse.

If you know anything about childhood abuse, you know that the effects of it spread out like tentacles into every area of your life.  Given time and God’s grace, there is healing, but there is always a scar left behind.

I spent a lot of time trying to understand “why” certain things happened as they did. I’ve learned over the years there are many answers, not just the ones that are on the surface of human understanding.

At the time I read this Scripture I was at a point where I could see no end to the pain and effects of what I had lived through as a child.

God spoke to me through this verse to let me know that although what had happened caused a lot of damage, that it wouldn’t be the end of me. That if I allowed Him, He would use what I had endured as a way to help others and glorify Him.

Of course, the main point was “if I allowed Him”.  It’s easy to remain in “survival” mode and justify hurting others due to the effects of past harm done against us. To stagnate in self-absorption and end up being rebellious and stubborn against God.

What if the only way a person would have a heart that was open to Him was to endure something painful? I’m not sure everyone can understand this because there is so much animosity toward Him and people try to justify lack of faith because they don’t know His character and the reason there is evil and suffering in the world.

There comes a time in a Christian’s life, if we are willing, that we have to let go of understanding and trust Him.

I’ve been blessed by Him with the hindsight to see how, and how often, He has used people to help me through my childhood years. Not only those years, but all of my years.

Learning never ends and we choose who we want to learn from. While I think psychiatrists and psychologists are a gift God uses to help us, the ultimate source is His grace and love for us.

We as humans cannot fathom the measure of His love, nor can we understand the whole picture of this life. So, we trust Him and know that any sickness will not lead to “death” if we accept His love and grace. We know that in the end He alone is worthy of all glory and will receive it.

So, we can be thankful for whatever happens in this life. Even going so far as to be thankful for the hurt and heartache because we know that it will all culminate in eternal life where there will be no tears, pain or death and we will have this everlasting love with no end.